''Hello Katarina, I saw your video about wedding etiquette and I thought I would ask for your advice. I am getting married in June and I have a friend (a dear friend) whom I invited. This friend loves to spend time on social media and she posts about pretty much everything, so when she received our wedding invitation, she immediately shared it on her social media revealing the date, location, everything. I am worried about her exposing details from my wedding on our big day. Me and my partner are pretty private, so I don’t know how to approach this as she is really the best of friends. Thank you for your help!''
C.
Dear C.,
thank you for your question!
First and foremost, let me congratulate you on your approaching marriage ceremony. I wish you the best of luck!
As for your friend, I fully understand it might be uncomfortable to deal with this situation as your boundaries were clearly crossed but you also think highly of this friend and wouldn’t want to affect your friendship negatively.
However, there are always two people in a friendship and your friend should be equally understanding towards your needs. I believe the best way to describe this is to say that someone’s actions end where someone else’s boundaries begin. Your friend has the right to post on social media about her life as much as she wants, but that doesn’t give her the right to involve you without your permission. In fact, in some countries it is illegal to share images and videos of others without their consent.
As your wedding day is a very important day in your life, I recommend addressing any concerns you might have beforehand, not during the ceremony. I suggest contacting your friend and politely, yet directly express your wish not to be involved on her social media channels. Since it’s a close friend, meeting on a ''neutral'' ground such as a café or a restaurant, could be a good idea as it might help to loosen the atmosphere and also increase the importance of your wish when expressed face-to-face.
Please remember, there is nothing rude or unfriendly about standing your ground when expressed in a polite and respectful manner.
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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