''Hi Katarina. At the beginning of this year I decided to go sober. I have never felt healthier and happier but with the holiday season approaching, I know I will be forced by family and friends to drink some alcohol. How should I refuse?''
F. H.
Dear F. H.,
thank you for your question!
First and foremost, congratulations on this lifestyle change! From the sound of it, your decision to stop drinking has been wonderful for you, and I applaud that.
It’s truly striking how normalised alcohol has become in our lives - we tend to reach for it when we celebrate, when we're sad, when we're happy. It’s almost as if every feeling must be accompanied by a drink. This habit exists across cultures worldwide, though the type of alcohol may vary.
That said, it can be surprising, even shocking, for some when a friend or family member decides to quit drinking altogether. For many, this is an unimaginable step.
Ultimately, the choice to drink or not drink is a personal one (as long as the person is an adult). However, pressuring others to do as we do is not only rude but can be potentially harmful. We never know the reasons behind someone’s choice - whether it’s health concerns, an early pregnancy they aren’t ready to announce, or a history with alcoholism. Whatever the case, no one should have to explain their choice not to drink. In an ideal world, a simple "No, thank you" would suffice. But since we don’t live in an ideal world, here are a few tips on gracefully handling intrusive questions about sobriety:
LET THEM CHEER FOR YOU
It might be easier to gain support if you frame your sobriety as a challenge. Tell others that you’re doing a “Dry January” and are seeing how long you can keep it up. Often, people are more supportive when they understand it as a “game” or challenge.
INTRODUCE THE WORLD OF MOCKTAILS
People are often more open to trying something new if it’s presented as an enticing alternative. Thankfully, there are now countless recipes for delicious mocktails, some even made with alcohol-free spirits that taste remarkably authentic. If you’re attending a party, ask the host if you can bring a mocktail option for others to try. You might even inspire the whole party to go alcohol-free for the night!
BLAME IT ON DRIVING
While telling a small fib can be risky, sometimes it’s the easiest way out. Driving is widely recognised as a responsible reason to avoid alcohol, and this explanation can quickly defuse any tension over your choice to stay sober.
Katarina’s Tip: Just as it’s inappropriate to pressure someone to drink if they don’t want to, it’s equally inappropriate to preach sobriety as the only way. As long as someone’s choice to drink doesn’t affect us, we should respect it and keep our own decisions to ourselves.
Good luck!
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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