Dear readers,
When I announced the wedding etiquette month on my social media, my inbox started experiencing an influx of personal stories from your wedding day. And let’s be honest, most of them weren’t bedtime stories unless you prefer reading horrors just before turning the lights off.
In today’s newsletter, I will be sharing 2 of these stories, so we can all learn from them and - hopefully - not experience them ourselves.
Disclaimer: I decided not to include any names or even initials, as I wish to keep the privacy of my followers intact. On my etiquette channel, the goal is not to shame anyone for their mistakes (conscious or subconscious), but to learn and become a more refined version of ourselves step by step, day by day.
STORY NO. 1: THE CAKE DEAL-BREAKER⚡
‘‘I was very young when I got married and it’s safe to say now that the choice of my partner was exactly how I was - young and immature. Fast forward to our wedding ceremony, my now ex-husband thought it was funny to smash the wedding cake right into my face and on my dress. I got shocked and somehow already then and there I could feel this wouldn’t last. Make-up and appearance have always been important to me and he knew it, and he still decided to completely destroy it all by smashing cream and jam into my face.’’
Cake smashing videos have become increasingly popular with the rise of social media and even though some might find it funny, a wedding ceremony is definitely not the right time and place for this type of ''fun''. A silly joke that lasts a nano-second then carries lengthy consequences not only on a practical yet also emotional level.
If we talk about etiquette, we always talk about respect towards others, our surroundings but also towards ourselves. Smashing cake into the bride’s (or anyone’s) face is not only inappropriate and not funny (okay, this one is subjective), but also shows an utter disrespect towards the venue, the person and the ceremony.
STORY NO. 2: THE MOTHER-IN-LAW MALICE ⚡
‘‘My mother-in-law told me I look fat in my wedding dress. I’ve always had issues with my weight which resulted in an on-and-off eating disorder from an early age. My mother-in-law knew that and still decided to make the comment just minutes before I was about to walk down the aisle. It still hurts.’’
Unsolicited advice of any kind is never a good idea. But it is especially not a good idea if the unsolicited advice revolves around someone’s appearance. Some people are naturally more straight-forward than others and they might even think their words are helpful, but in reality, words can hurt and a well-meant thought behind them won’t salvage it. Commenting on someone’s appearance in such an important moment as a wedding is is highly rude and it is very appropriate to set straight boundaries against this person.
Dear readers, when I was reading these stories, my heart ached and my mind was in utter disbelief. But I hope we can all use it as a learning curve so our wedding days become unforgettable for all the right reasons.
I wish you a beautiful day ahead filled with good manners,
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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